It’s been too long since my last post, and I’m going to try to be more consistent from now on. I’m going to talk about a lot more than books from now on though. This started as a literary blog, but as a writer, my whole life boils down to writing somehow or another. It doesn’t make sense not to share the things that go into my stories.
I read an article, which I’ll share a little of below, on Thought Catalog earlier today. Divorce is a difficult topic, even if you haven’t been through one. My parents divorced when I was two or three, and each remarried and divorced again by the time I was twelve. I got used to leaving, as this article notes; emptiness and isolation were painful but necessary comforts. Repeatedly moving and having a crazy visitation schedule got me used to saying goodbye, and I don’t think I had a single stable friend until my last year of high school. Even now, I’m a loner.
Fortunately, I’ve always tended to be on the unsocial side, and prefer silence and contemplation to the noise of parties and hyper-social scenes. It’s no doubt part of why I was drawn to meditation and becoming a reiki practitioner (currently level 2 in the Usui tradition). That doesn’t mean it hasn’t hurt, but I’ve healed a lot and come a long way.
For any of you still struggling with this pain, I offer you this:
Yes, people may leave you, and you may be alone. That’s a fact of life, no matter what happened between your parents and when. That doesn’t mean you’ll be without love. Be with yourself and appreciate who you are; that’s the key to being loved. We attract the emotions we put out, and if you radiate acceptance and good will, people will treat you in kind. They’ll want to be around you and look to you for advice and support–but soon, you’ll realize you don’t need it as much as you once thought. You may not need it at all. The whole universe is conscious in its own way. Be love, and love will reflect back to you a hundred fold. That harmony will never leave you, and even in your darkest times, that internal light will guide your way.
Be well, my friends.
From “Just a Kid” by Jamie Varon
When your parents divorce when you’re just a kid, a few things happen to you: 1) you spend your life feeling unsettled; 2) you keep your distance from most people; 3) you have a difficult time with the emotional repercussions of being without a person. When you are young and shuffling yourself back and forth from one home to the other, you do not know what it’s like to be with all the people you love.