#PiDay #FreePieNoLie #ThisPatternIsMine

Hi everyone,

Get your Archimedes on, because today is Pi day. The flavor of the day is Grasshopper Pie, which is NOT made from insects, but has tons of marshmellows and Creme de Menthe, because a day like this deserves something off-the-wall. Check it out here.

Some of you in the gaming world may have heard of “Walking Simulators.” …Let me rephrase that: Some of you OUTSIDE the game world may have heard of these, and those of you INSIDE already know what they are.

If you know what they are, odds are, you’ve heard of Everybody’s Gone to the Rapture. I heard of it. I saw it referenced in many news outlets, review boards, etc., so I caved and bought it. It helps that this was 40% off at the time.

I heard a friend once say, “This isn’t a game.” She was talking about Dance Dance Revolution, but that’s not the point. Fact is, EGttR isn’t a game–but you should still play it. Play it in the sense of watching a movie, except while moving your thumbs to look at bright objects and answer phones.

First off, this thing is beautiful. Imagine the ocean after a storm, or your lover’s eyes just before the first time you exchange I Love Yous. Now degrade that experience by like 7 percent because you can’t smell or kiss this game (or don’t, I hope). That’s what this looks like.

Second, the soundtrack: weirdly mesmerizing. I don’t remember any of the songs, beyond one track of choir singing, but every time I’ve played, I’m like, “Oh yeah, that, that sounds good.”

Third, the plot is genuinely interesting. It’s not super original, but it’s interesting. I won’t spoil it, but I’ll hint that what appears to be a series of numbers that does not end or repeat (sound familiar, you hungry mathletes?) winds up wiping out all life on earth. That’s not a spoiler if you know what “the rapture” from the title is (hint: Not Bioshock related).

If nothing else, this game’ll teach you how to describe really stunning light shows in exacting detail, but I wouldn’t say there’s much else going on for those of you looking to glean some writing tips out of it.

I give this game 8.5 stars. Sure, I said it was beautiful, but it loses points for low replay value. It loses more because it’s the one game that has a black female protagonist, but it makes her race pretty much the focal point of nearly every conflict, and ultimately half-whitewashes her anyway because you never see any human beings, only orange-white light. That’s a good step, but racial/gender equality is about more than “Oh, a Black Woman!”

That having been said, still a good game, still fun to play, worth 12 bucks, maybe even 20. I don’t have the platinum yet, but I’ll get around to it. …Once I’m done replaying DMC and trying to make Grasshopper Pie.

Have a tasty day, folks.

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